Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 37 - Just One Week...Just One Week...

I hate to provide constant "status updates" without any real "content" for all of you, but as of late my laziness is the most apparent thing that is keeping me from providing real raw content if you will. So the latest update will be equally as depressing as laziness on a raw diet. Ok, I guess I should stop myself from calling it depressing, because this "depression" has spawned from a weekend of joy and carelessness...and alas...I am left with the aftermath of said "joy".

I've regained almost ALL, yes, ALL of the weight. WTF. I'm feeling bloated beyond belief. I stuffed myself to the brim and then some this weekend, away with friends, in the state of Michigan. I remained mostly vegan (aside from the amount dairy held within a sweet morsel of dark chocolate) - but mostly vegan on a gorger's diet is basically irrelevant to the love handles. My downfall was the sweet tooth, I entertained many chocolates from a sweet little shop, followed by some serious stomach pain, and then more vegan mass consumption.

So today is Tuesday and I have to remind myself that last week was merely ONE WEEK in the 52 WEEKS of this lifestyle experiment. I had mounted a large horse on Jan 9, so the fall was a long one. To get back on this large horse will take a few big steps and a renewed sense of things. OH HORSE, I hate you sometimes!

I took advantage of my "cooked bites" rule by bending and twisting til it made sense to eat french fries...virtually cancelling the Candida Cleanse portion of the show. I'm still taking the extracts and herbs, but in order to really reap the benefits of a candida cleanse.... I should actually do raw, no sugar. I feel like I can't be trusted around cooked food and everyday temptations. I let myself down, and I am paying for it emotionally and physically.

So that's the pity party. The good news, if there is any, is that it's just one week out of 52. So the longer I dwell on mistakes made, the more energy wasted. And the big reminder here is that I really did enjoy the weekend away, aside from the stomach pain. This says to me that I have an emotional attachment with cooked food/sweets. Cooked food + sweets = joy. What an odd equation, but I think this pretty much sums up my current mentality about things...as demonstrated by my actions.

Yesterday I had planned to begin a 40-Day Yoga Challenge, which I heard about from a former college roommate who just finished one herself. Basically, the challenge is to do yoga everyday for 40 days, following a book by Baron Baptiste - with one day of rest per week. I've been so lethargic from the food that I haven't been able to wake up early enough to do it. But the plan is to do 20 minutes of yoga when I get home from work today. This way, I'll be ending my 40-day challenge in time for my BIRTHDAY, and what a great gift it will be to have a peaceful centered practice and reshaped body in time for that.

Lucky for me, OnDemand has televised yoga classes for those times I can't make it to the gym. I will start the Challenge with televised beginners yoga until I get into a bit of a groove. Then, I also have a Groupon for 20 classes of Bikram Yoga near my apartment. And our Gym also offers yoga at least once or twice a week. The real challenge will be to make time for these workouts, while also trying to be more consistent with training for the half marathon!

Oh how lovely are the prospective plans we make....now putting these plans to action, there's the challenge! Anyway, please don't judge me -- I certainly didn't feel like blogging all my failures. But who would I be if I only told you the good stuff? Here we go....


Cheers,

K

4 comments:

  1. Kristen, I'm looking into some raw and vegan places around San Diego for your visit. I can't wait to see you -- it feels like forever. I have a lot of questions about all of this... :).

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  2. definitely just 1 week out of 52. and the 1st 4 out of 52 were way more self-controlled than at least 90% of our country's population, including mine, if that makes you feel better. i think it's sometimes ok to compare down rather than up, even if it's just to make yourself feel better. :) 3 steps forward, 2 steps back is still 1 step forward! ;) what's that quote about success not being never falling but picking yourself up after each fall? something like that ... i tried googling it but couldn't find it.

    the 40-day yoga challenge sounds neat! i'm interested too... i'll have to talk more about it with you if i ever see you again haha. seems like it's been forever! love you sis!

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  3. "OH HORSE, I hate you sometimes!" You make me giggle.

    It's a silly thing, but I thought I'd share with you a trick I use to hold myself responsible for things (something I am so very bad at doing!). Basically I keep my future self, "Future Brooke," in mind at all times and try to do her as many favors as I can. Even the easiest things seem so challenging in the moment--like doing dishes--but I know that if I just wash the dish the second I'm done with it, I won't have deal with a pile of them later. The bigger the pile, the harder it is to wash them, afterall. The next day, I always end up reveling in the clean, empty sink.

    So for you, if you think you need french fries, just do Future Kristen a favor and avoid the inevitable misery, guilt, and gut-ache. :)

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  4. Thank you for the insights and encouragement, all! I like the "Future Kristen" self-talk. Hmm the cleaning gods would like that approach as well as my stomach.

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